One of the most important lessons that a teacher or parent can give to her students is the ability to choose. Often times we don’t allow kids to fail or make mistakes, we are so hard on them. One day I was in class and I was teaching a lesson on money. It was the end of the day and clearly my students were tapped out, but I was trying to push through the remainder of the day even though most of my class was clearly disinterested in the content, so I said “If you want to learn how to do this meet me at the rug, if not you can continue to talk at your seats.” To my dismay only two of my students met me at the rug! I was hurt, but my hurt didn’t matter. What mattered most was that my students had the opportunity to choose, decide, judge and evaluate the importance of my lesson against their need to connect, play, or express themselves through art. I could have easily used my power as the teacher to tell all of my students to stop what they were doing, however, I learned early in my career that if I want students to value what I am doing, I need to value what they are doing.
One student who came to the rug asked another student why they didn’t make the “right” choice to come and learn the math. The student responded by saying “Well we have been working really hard and I really wanted to draw.”-Sounds like she used a lot of analytical skills in which she deduced, if I draw it wont hurt anyone, because I have been working really hard. The next day this student told her family that it was her decision and if she wanted to make a bad decision it was up to her. I realized that what she was really saying to her family was, trust that I will make decisions that wont hurt me, but that I will be very thoughtful and use wise judgement and if it turns out the wrong way I just want you to support me and love me through it. This student is just six years old- How powerful is it to have had this epiphany this young. Parents, Teacher and Care givers, allow kids to start making choices at an early age. To
often kids get their first taste of choice when they are in junior high or high school and they are so excited for the freedom that they are easily swayed and make costly, life altering decisions. If you get anything from this post make sure you give your child the ability to choose its a powerful life skill to learn.